this and that

busy day for me
worked at the main office
been out of the loop
and it is hard and exhausting
to be part of the working world again
even if it's only part time

especially when my heart
is still anchored deep
at home

sad news today
my friend with cancer
had a doctor's appointment today
and he said it would be best
to call in hospice
i talked to her daughter
who said the doctor
was not all that encouraging
and her time here with us
is short
on one hand
i am grateful that this faithful spirit
will be united with her Savior
and feel no more pain or hurt
and have no more tears
but i'm selfish
i don't want her to go
there's so much more i want to say
but how do i say it?
what is it exactly i want to say?
i don't know
and i feel the pressure
of time running out
i want her around to encourage me
as she has done for years now
who will continually remind me
that God is forever faithful?

you know
sometimes you just meet a kindred spirit
but i've never had one leave before
what do i do?

oh, Jesus
all i know is to come to you
you know my heart
you know how this is weighing on me
the tears that won't spill from my eyes
the ache in my chest
hold her
hold her close to you
ease her breathing
gather her strength
give her courage
most of all
sweet Jesus
surround her with your peace

blessings from fellow bloggers
i am continually amazed
with this blogging community
read a new blog today
she touched me with this post
especially in light of my friend
and a minute later
i was laughing my butt off at this
(did i just say butt in my blog?)
then there is brenda
and she visited my blog
when we were explaining our blog names
she said that my title reminded her
of an old gospel song about a lighthouse
i am just so touched by these words
and the music too
there are a few more blessings
i really want to share
but i'll save them
for another day

ending with good news
i was trying to find a blessing
in my day
and guess what?
i found TWO...
one, i met a really nice lady at work
and we had a conversation
about the local christian radio station
good stuff
and two, my friend's dad
that had the stroke
gets to come home friday
still lots of therapy
and a need for his short term memory
to restore
but he's coming home!
HOORAY!

now...if i can just catch up on
all those name explanations...

do not touch your dial...

no...it isn't your computer
and you don't have to click
refresh to get the updated page
i've gone back to my old template

sort of

i absolutely love the beach picture
but it made things hard to read
and since, well, this is a blog
there's a lot of reading going on
(i hope)

so every time i looked at it
i had this kind of weird feeling
like something wasn't right
and that was a problem

when i switched templates
i was able to teach myself some code
so now i'm able to make changes
to this one
like the sidebar on the other side

one of the main reasons
i made the change in the first place
was because i couldn't figure out
how to get more stuff in my sidebar

not a problem anymore

so welcome back to my lighthouse
stay for a while
(but make sure you comment!)

word cloud

Found this on Barb's blog...it takes all
the words you use on your blog and
creates a little list, with the most used
words being bigger and bolder. It's kind
of neat to see what words you use most.
If you'd like to try it, click here.

100 things about me

in honor of my 100th post
(yup, this is it!)
i am going with blog tradition
of telling 100 things about me
(try not to fall asleep, ok?)

1. First things first, I'm really stressing about this. Why? I don't know. Maybe afraid too much information will bring the "ring of thieves" or embarass my husband or maybe, gulp, you won't like me anymore. How silly! Get over it and get going!!

2. My name is Andrea but in preschool, everyone called me Andi.

3. I was born on March 19th.

4. I took 13 years of French in school. I gotta go to France soon or I'm not going to remember a thing!

5. Sometimes I think in French. Which is weird. Especially when I think out loud and it sounds so, well, foreign!

6. I attended a small, Christian college in Kentucky for a year. I didn't realize how lucky I was to be there.

7. I have my associate's degree in Communications from the local university that's named after the city I live in.

8. I don't like Communications - as far as the degree is concerned. I had to take two Comm classes and I didn't like either one.

9. I want to return to college once my son starts school. I want to get my bachelor's degree. Not sure what to major in yet.

10. I am an only child.

11. I was raised in a single parent family way before it was "normal". I turned out okay (in my opinion) thanks largely in part to my mother's determination.

12. I knew my dad and had a distant relationship with him. We got closer when he got sick. He died in 1998.

13. I've been married twice.

14. Just celebrated my fifth anniversary in my second marriage and it's going strong. Married my soulmate exactly one month prior to Sept. 11, 2001.

15. I have two children - girl, 10 and boy, 3.

16. I work part-time at a bank as an assistant manager of sorts. Actually I do whatever they tell me to do...teller, manager, new accounts....

17. I babysit my friend's son and have since he was 6 weeks old. He's like one of my own.

18. I've been a Pampered Chef Consultant for the past year and a half.

19. Hilarious, because I really don't like to cook.

20. I love to bake cakes and if I had more time, I would bake more complex stuff. Yum!

21. I really enjoy spending time with my family.

22. I am blessed with "good" in-laws.

23. I'll be getting a new sister-in-law next September, thanks to my brother-in-law who I affectionately call big little bro. (He calls me little big sis - he's way taller than me but I'm older).

24. I have two houses at the moment. Anyone wanna buy a house? Aw, come on, please?

25. I listen to Christian and country music.

26. Amy Grant is my favorite music artist.

27. I love, love, love to read.

28. Karen Kingsbury is my favorite author.

29. I have a slight addiction to people.com. I don't know why. The paparazzi should leave these poor people alone. I'm only feeding that frenzy. I know, I know. I deal with the guilt. I just love to see the families. It really is just about the people to me.

30. I love to eat.

31. Especially at restaurants. Something about the atmosphere and leaving the dirty dishes sit there instead of cleaning them up, I guess.

32. I'm trying to lose weight (but have very little discipline).

33. I have a condition of the bladder that makes me have to pee all.the.time. (too much info?)

34. I LOVE mail. Any kind really, but especially snail mail.

35. I collect stationery and note cards. I even use them pretty regularly.

36. I have a Hallmark problem. (see #35)

37. I collect Willow Tree Angels by Demdaco. They are so neat!

38. I've owned/driven many cars over the years. '87 Toyota Corolla Tercel, a couple Honda Civics, a Ford Focus ZX2, a Ford Explorer, a couple Toyota Camrys, a Ford truck, a Geo Prism.

39. Except for that year I was at the college in Kentucky, I've lived in the same city my whole life.

40. I won the contest for school motto in 8th grade. (pathetic but I'm running out of ideas here...)

41. My favorite color is purple.

42. My favorite vacation spot is Chicago in the spring or fall. Especially at the end of the Navy Pier, looking out over the blue water.

43. I went on a cruise to the Bahamas for my honeymoon and LOVED it. Blue water and all the food you can eat available 19 hours a day is the place for me!

44. I spent a lot of time with the lady that lived upstairs from us when I was a kid. My mom named her my godmother when I was baptized (the first time). She meant a lot to me.

45. My godmother died when I was 16.

46. (I know you are probably wondering so...) I've been baptized twice, confirmed once, and transferred my membership to my current church. I'd say I've got the bases covered, don't you?

47. I'm very active in my church.

48. I have a system I use to keep track of my girlfriends (although I've been really bad about it the past few months). I put two names on my calendar at the beginning of each week and make an effort to contact them some way during the week. Usually it's a card but sometimes it's a letter or *gasp* phone call. (I don't use the phone unless I have to, usually). Each month, the system repeats so I have monthly contact with "the girls".

49. I have struggled with depression. I have more good days than bad lately.

50. I kept a journal my senior year of high school. I started another one the day after I married my husband. Blogging has kind of taken it's place.

51. I would love to take an art class or two to see if I could develop the ability to draw and/or paint. I'd love to be able to do these things. But I'm scared to try.

52. I love to watch old reruns of "Little House on the Prarie", Diagnosis Murder, and Murder, She Wrote.

53. I wear contacts.

54. I love to shop at Crate & Barrel (even if I can only afford a napkin ring or coaster).

55. I also love to shop at Ikea. (There's one coming to town soon!! Woohoo!)

56. I grew up around a Greek family and found "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" hil-ar-ious!

57. I've always dreamed of teaching deaf kids. I think American Sign Language is awesome.

58. I find thinking up 100 things about me extremely hard.

59. My favorite Bible story is found in the first chapter of Ruth, about Ruth refusing to leave Naomi.

60. I don't like seafood of any kind.

61. I didn't like vegetables as a kid, but as I get older, I like broccoli, cauliflower, sweet peas and green beans.

62. I really like dried apricots.

63. My favorite lunch meat is oven roasted turkey. On a sandwich with swiss cheese and mayo. (Can you tell I took a break and ate lunch?)

64. I love surprises (most of the time).

65. For a while, I was hooked on Nancy Drew computer games (and my husband kidded me about it forever!).

66. I haven't had any carbonated, caffinated drink in almost four years (except for the occassional drink of cherry Pepsi). This was done for medical reasons and not by choice, but ya know, it isn't so bad.

67. I drink a lot of Propel water (flavored water made by Gatorade). Lately (pat on back), I've been drinking lots and lots of tap water (ice cold).

68. As a kid, I played soccer for six years.

69. I was in gymnastics for a couple years when I was little. I don't remember how many years, I just know I loved it.

70. In high school, I was on the JV volleyball team for three years.

71. I played basketball in middle school.

72. Oh, softball in middle school too.

73. I have always liked sports - now I get to hear about them alot. :)

74. I think I like baseball the most. The "local team" is doing really well right now.

75. Since I'm on a sports kick here, I'll tell you my philosophy on football. I think it's a bunch of grown men playing "Ring Around the Rosie..." (is that even the name of the song?) They run around and then "all fall down!". I watch it more now than I ever have - mostly by default because my lovely husband is watching it.

76. I wrote most of our wedding ceremony. It was a mix between the United Methodist service and a really cool ceremony in the book "From Beginning to End: The Rituals of Our Lives" by Robert Fulghum.

77. I love to play video games. Especially the old ones, like Super Mario Brothers. I used to be really good at them but the older I get, the worse I get. The brain must be slowing down...either that or each kid took more brain cells when they were delivered.

78. I love a sale. I don't care how useful something is, I got a bargain! (I can see my husband nodding his head and rolling his eyes right now!)

79. I have a special liking of (trying to find a better way to say I love... and make this more interesting...) Eeyore. His philosophy on life matches mine on most days (even though it shouldn't!).

80. I had to take a test to attend the high school that I graduated from. I still don't understand what made that school such a big deal. Probably because I never attended any of the other schools.

81. I was awful in math until I had to take a remedial course at the university when getting my associate's degree. Then it clicked and I LOVE it.

82. My dad was a scientist. My father-in-law is a scientist.

83. I love genetics. It's really interesting. If it weren't for chemistry, I would probably try to major in that.

84. My father was half Chinese. Which makes me, what?, 1/8 Chinese? You'd never know it by looking at me.

85. I don't speak a lick of Chinese.

86. I really like to sing, especially praise songs and old hymns.

87. I am able to sleep anywhere, anytime. Except that one night a couple of weeks ago when I had my first insomnia attack ever.

88. I like the look of a freshly made bed and I like to sleep on clean, fresh sheets.

89. I have a new addiction: blogging. Lots of really nice Christian women out there!

90. I like white cake with white icing.

91. When I was in college (Kentucky), my roommate and I used to sleep until the last minute and throw a hat on some greasy hair and run to class. What? Doesn't everybody do that?

92. I'm afraid I'm going to get to the end of this (since I'm getting so close) and post it, only to come up with something really good.

93. I've been told I'm a loyal friend.

94. I like the comic strip "Baby Blues". "Zits" is good too.

95. I collect fancy pens. But they can't be too heavy because my hands are little and it's hard to write with a top heavy pen.

96. For the past 13 summers (minus the summer I had my daughter, the summer I had my son, and the summer my dad died), I have been a counselor at a Christian camp for 4th, 5th and 6th graders. (Shameless plug: please pray for this camp as the funding is gone and they are struggling to continue).

97. I love to have my back rubbed.

98. I met my husband in 6th grade.

99. I am getting excited because there is only one left and I feel like I've been working on this for hours!

100. I have my own personal tool box that my husband bought me for Mother's Day.

I know...I should have ended with a bang, but goodness gracious, I can't think anymore, let alone think of things that are relevant to this post!! Hope you are still awake and that you learned something interesting...Thanks for stopping by!

friday's feast #108 (#2 for me)

appetizer
If you could have a free subscription to any magazine, which one would you like to have?

oh boy, oh boy...hmmm...should i select Real Simple or the new Hallmark magazine? or what about Country Living. and then there's Oprah's magazine. and Today's Christian Woman. and Mary Engelbreit's Home Companion (that the library just stopped getting!!!). well, i guess i'll go with People because it's the one that's so darn expensive! can you tell i love me a magazine or two? (and isn't it funny that i hardly capitalize anything in this blog but the magazine titles are capped? unintentional - really!)

soup
Describe your living room (furnishings, colors, etc.).

the living room is the one place i try to keep "visitor friendly". sometimes it works and most times it doesn't. it's a big room with a white couch we got when a dear friend passed away. we just got these two light blue chairs that my husband loves. there's a brown recliner in the corner. a cedar chest that my daughter's uncle made one Christmas. a bookshelf with 1/2 of my library (it won't all fit!). a curio cabinet with lots of prettys, especially the start of my collection of willow tree angels by demdaco. oh, the curio cabinet has the wreath of flowers i wore in my hair at our wedding too. i love that. there is also an antique sewing machine in this room (i told ya it was a big room!). there is a blue rug on the floor (a housewarming gift from my lovely "mothers") and a big bay window that gives a view of our backyard. it's painted an off-white color and has a hardwood floor. my husband hung my coat hanger thingy from ikea at the entrance to the room and i love that too. nothing else on the walls yet. just moved in. i know, i know, we moved 8 months ago. so i'm a little slow on the decorating. i want to do it once and do it right. i'm thinking... :)

salad
What does the shape of a circle make you think of?

my wedding. you know..."the ring is a circle that symbolizes your love for one another...no beginning and no end..." and the connection between God and a couple. at the time, it also reminded me of our families joining together as one.

main course
Name 3 things in your life that you consider to be absolute necessities.

man, this is testing my brain power! only three? okay, here goes:
1. my relationship with Jesus
2. my family and friends
3. my chapstick (aw, come on, you gotta be shallow sometimes!)

dessert
What was the last really funny movie you watched?

cars, i guess. don't watch too many movies. and there are some really funny "adults" moments in that movie. they are so clever.

To learn more about Friday's Feast, click here.
To get the questions and participate, click here.

thursday thirteen #1

13 things i love about my husband

1. his vast knowledge of trivia (both common
and obscure)
2. his brown eyes
3. his gentleness with the kids
4. his ability to just look at me and know i've
had a rough day (when i'm wielding a household
item as a weapon, i guess it's pretty easy to
tell...but still...)
5. his work ethic and the fact that he works hard
so i can stay home with our kids
6. his patience with my new addiction to blogging
7. the concoctions he comes up with when he cooks
8. his family
9. his sense of humor (note: not sarcasm, humor!)
10. the fact that he's known me since i was 11
11. okay, okay, i'll admit it...i love his love of sports
12. that he never, ever forgets our anniversary
and actually remembers our "other" important days
13. his willingness to go to church every sunday with me

wait, that's it?
i have so many more...
like when he acts like a bigger
kid than the kids when they play together,
or how about the times he brings me tea,
or...okay, okay...i'll stop.

i never have been very good
with saying things quickly...
guess that's where my daughter got it.

Get the thursday thirteen code here.

See other thursday thirteen participants here.

the pizza box meme

okay, for those new bloggers out there
(and to further my own knowledge)
a meme (pronounced meem)
is "an idea, question, statement
or project that is posted in one blog
and answered to in many other blogs."
(as per about.com definition)

and i've been tagged with my first one!

barb at A Chelsea Morning tagged me
yesterday with a meme from Code Yellow Mom
that she adapted from a game
on a pizza box

without further ado
here is my first meme

what was your favorite thing about being a kid?
listening to the "Annie" record or Tina Turner record
in my best friend's pink and white room or playing with
Castle GraySkull in her brother's room with the blue shag
carpet, swinging on the tire hanging in a tree at her house,
going to flea markets with my godmother, playing in my
sand pit, eating lemon squares and potato chip cookies,
larosa's pizza and a shirley temple at least twice a week,
smelling jean nate and bengay, and most of all, not
realizing the stress that being an adult with
responsibilities can bring.

what was your favorite subject in school?
probably language arts (aka reading and writing)
and then later psychology
maybe french too
and still later (college)
believe it or not
math clicked and i LOVED it

who was your best friend when you were 10?
chelsea. from kindergarten until after 4th grade
when she moved away. thinking about it makes
me sad to this day. especially since we recently
reconnected. i would have loved to have her as
my best friend in high school but we just grew apart.
she lived too far away. but a true friend 'cuz we
picked right back up where we left off. (and i'm
not just saying all this because i know you are
reading this...)

if you could be any animal, what would it be?
a monkey of course. don't ask me why - i don't know.
have always, always loved monkeys. (and just think
about it...no more shaving required!)

what would you change about your school, occupation,
life right now?
i'd go back to school
i'd find an occupation i love and felt i could do well in
i'd heal my friend ms. a
i'd sell my house
i'd restore full health to my friend's dad
i'd go on a cruise (blue water)
oh, okay, if you insist
i'd buy a new car

what's your favorite color?
purple and blue

what's your favorite type of crust and
favorite topping on a pizza?
traditional crust with extra cheese
from larosa's
it's a local thing and i love it!

whew! i did it!
now i'm supposed to tag someone
and seeing as i only really know
two bloggers and one of them
tagged me, i guess there's only
one thing a girl can do...

TAG Chels, you're it!!
(aren't you glad i filled you in
at the top of this post as to
what a meme was?)
don't feel obligated but
it is kinda fun...

(and like Barb said, if you want to join in...it's an open meme, feel free!
just let me know you did it so i can read it too!)

first day of school...last day with the tiger

she made it through
the first day of 5th grade
surprisingly quiet about it
strange for her
is this the beginning
of not wanting to talk to mom?
i hope not
(i can't believe i want her
to talk...how many years have
i endured the ceaseless chatter?)

last day with the tiger
his mom picked him up
at the soccer field
he seemed largely unaffected
and although i promised a dance
i actually felt a little sad
for a moment
that little boys grow up
but a shout from my son
pulled my attention to the field
"pway baseball wif me, mommy?"
and the moment faded away

working tomorrow
on my lunch i will visit
my friend ms. a
please pray for me
i am struggling with her suffering
and i want to convey my concern
but more than that
i want to be a reflection of Jesus
she has been that for me
so many times
and i feel that her only comfort
can come from feeling
the love and peace of Jesus
i don't want to get in the way of that

i've been tagged to do a meme
and if you don't understand
what that means
stay tuned
i'll explain tomorrow night
when i post again...

until then,
take care

football or baseball?

I was going through our pictures
and found this one from last year.
I thought it would be perfect to post
because I don't know about you, but
football is starting to rule our TV. And
it isn't even the real season yet! With
it being baseball season still too, "we"
flip back and forth from baseball to football.

Last year when he first got this jersey,
he would ask to wear it almost every
day (is he his father's son or what?). So,
if you look closely, he is wearing his Griffey
baseball t-shirt under the jersey. I just
noticed that today and laughed out loud. It
is an actual snapshot of what is happening in
my life right now. Football on top of baseball.
How exciting! :)

health & school

today
i had a dr's appointment
to check to see if i was healthy

that's weird

actually it was a "pre-op" appt
to prepare for a little "procedure"
that's being done in mid-sept
no big deal really
(at least, that's what i keep telling myself)

my daughter also had a check-up
to see if she was healthy
which she is
praise the Lord

a few recommendations
sent my head
reeling
but through prayer and discussion
we will make it through

last night
went to see my friend's dad
the one that had the stroke
and he was doing really well
by the look on my friend's face
i knew that he said a few things
that were out of place
but if i didn't know her eyes so well
i would never have known
what a mystery
the brain is

today
i talked to my friend from church
ms. a
hurts my heart to say
things are not so good
short of breath but wanting to talk
a nightmare to me
still such a gentle spirit
with a positive outlook
an inspiration to me
please if you don't mind
keep praying for her
she needs to feel Jesus close
and feel the peace that comes
with that

last day
with the tiger tomorrow
if you see a woman
with bed head and pj's
at 6 in the evening
doing a funny dance
in her front yard
just wave and keep driving
it's my own private celebration

it's not that i don't want him here
please don't get me wrong
it's just a release of commitment
and a relief that
the behavior from another house
that's so different from mine
will not be modeled by my son
anymore

the tiger is moving on
because he starts school
on monday
i can't believe he's old enough
already

speaking of which
the 10 year old talker
starts school
tomorrow
fifth grade
sixth year of "big girl" school
she's been counting the days
is she ready for this?

am i?

either way
here we go...