200th post!

I had lots of creative plans for this, my 200th post, but life happened instead. This picture would be the culprit.

Yesterday, the boy was acting fine. Happy, even. As bedtime approached, he began complaining that his ear hurt. We went from 0 to 10 in 5 minutes. He fussed and cried on and off all night. This morning he complained that this ear (the other one, the one in the picture) hurt him. So, I called the doctor because for the love of all things soft and cuddly, my son wasn't. And I need some sleep. Because I love to sleep. And I'm reminded of that every time one of the kids is sick and I don't get enough. But I'm wondering here from the point (is there one?), which is okay, considering I haven't had a complete thought all day.

So, anyway, we get to the doctor and it's a double ear infection. Sitting in the waiting room, he's clutching his ear, whining, "My eeeeaaarrr hurts! I don't think it's ever going to be better, Mom." How do you feel guilty over something you can't fix? The doctor said it was a double ear infection - the one was way worse than the other. We got the staple pink stuff that my son loves for some reason. We went to Kroger and dropped the prescription off and then went down the street to get some bagels. He chose that for lunch over McDonald's - I know he isn't feeling well! When we got back to Kroger to pick up the medicine (in the drive-thru - whoever invented drive-thru pharmacies was a genius - or a mom with a car-load of kids!), my son decided he needed to go to the bathroom. NOW. So, I'm trying to convince him that he can wait and also talk to the pharmacy technician in a mature, I'm-a-mom-and-I-know-what-I-doing-ignore-the-screaming-in-the-backseat-I'm-not-abusing-him tone of voice. It turns out the technician is the mom of a kid in my daughter's class. She was so nice but was trying to chit-chat. On a good day, I'm not a good chit-chatter. On a day after a long night, and an even longer day (and it was only 11 in the morning), I'm horrible at chit-chat. I mumbled something and bless her heart if she didn't say "Well, I guess he's ready to go home - here's some extra suckers to maybe help you make it better." I'm so glad she was understanding. I do wonder what she was thinking as my son took off his shorts and underwear in the back seat of my car. Luckily, the little boy I babysit isn't fully potty trained and luckily, I picked up his diaper bag as we left the house. There was a pull-up in there that saved the day! Trying to reason with my son that it was okay to pee in the pull-up because it was an emergency was difficult. Finally, he went and he got changed and re-dressed and the crisis was over.

I took a nap when the boys did today. I think I deserved it.

So, happy 200th post to me. Here's to 200 more...

a mother's legacy #2 (living room)

What is a mother's legacy?

DESCRIBE WHAT THE FAMILY LIVING ROOM LOOKED LIKE WHEN YOU WERE A CHILD.

We moved to a two bedroom apartment when I was 9. I was so excited to have my own room! This was the middle of the eighties and gawdy colors were still in style. We had green shag carpet in our living room. It was awful! It was particularly gross when my uncle and my mom got in a watermelon seed fight - shooting them at each other with their index finger and thumb. Picking those out of that shag carpet was a pain! But watching those two laugh was worth it.

We had this couch that was gold with black stripes. It was velvet-y like and I can't believe it was in style anytime, but I guess it was. I spilled grape juice on it once as a kid. I'm sure it stained it somewhere but I don't remember.

We always had a plant stand with tons of plants on them. It was my job to water them sometimes. I hated it. Behind the plant stand was usually a balcony door that led outside. For awhile, we owned a turtle. It roamed free in our apartment - which, now, seems so weird but it was cool then. It ate soft, canned dog food. It's dish was behind the curtain of the balcony. Finally, one day, we set it free in a stand of woods behind the apartment complex.

We had a floor model TV. You know, the kind that had it's own legs. It had the turn dials to change the channel. As it got older, the sound would go in and out and you just hit the side of it and it worked like a charm. I vividly recall laying on my stomach in front of that TV watching "Little House on the Prairie" after school. I wanted to be Laura Ingalls in a big way.

I don't remember much else about the living room. Those were the important things I guess. All I know is that I am SO glad that green shag carpet went out of style!

friday's feast #144 (#16)

Appetizer
List 3 emotions you experienced this week.

Frustration - I've altered my diet for medical reasons and it is SO frustrating. There are so many things I used to eat that I'm really not supposed to have. I'm hoping I can get things under control and find alternate foods that are okay for me.
Joy - We joined the local YMCA and now I get to SWIM!!!! I really enjoy the water and love that I can share that with my kids.
Love - My husband and my kids have been hugging and kissing me a lot (probably because I'm so darn grouchy because of my diet changes!) - that makes me feel loved.

Soup
Name a car you'd love to have.

As much as I never thought I'd say this, I would love to have a minivan. It would make life a lot easier for me.

Salad
Describe your typical morning routine.

I have two different typical morning routines. On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, I'm up at 7ish and I wake up my daughter for her shower. She is not so easy to wake up and I usually have to tickle her or something to get her moving. The little boy I babysit comes at 7:15 but he goes back to sleep. My daughter needs prodding after her shower to put her clothes on and get ready. She leaves at 8. Then, I usually get dressed. My son gets up after that and the day has begun! On Fridays, add to that, a baby I watch arrives at 7:30 and it gets crazy around here!
On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I work outside the home. I get up at 7:15 or so and wake up my daughter. Then I jump in the shower. When I get out, it's time to push my daughter to get her out the door on time. After she leaves, I pack my work bag, my lunch, and my son's bag. Then I wake up my son. I get dressed and then help my son get dressed. I make a waffle for my son and I blow dry my hair while he eats it. We leave around 8:30. I take him to the sitter or grandma's house and then I head to work.

Wow, that was boring. :)

Main Course
Have you ever emailed someone famous? If so, who, and what did you say to them? Did they reply?

I have never emailed someone famous. The closest thing to that would be that I sent a question to Rosie O'Donnell on her blog. It was about 1 in the morning and I couldn't sleep. I was bored. I asked her if she ever had insomnia and what she does when she has it. She answered that she plays online games at pogo.com.

Wow, that was boring too. :)

Dessert
Do you listen to podcasts? If so, which ones?

Occassionally. When I do, I listen to New Life Live, Focus on the Family, and sometimes Family Life. I am sure there are others out there that I would enjoy. I haven't explored that yet.


That's it for this week. If you want to join in, click here. Have a good weekend!!

a mother's legacy #1 (childhood best friend)

What is a mother's legacy?

TELL ME ABOUT YOUR BEST CHILDHOOD FRIEND.

I don't remember meeting my childhood best friend - that's how long ago it was. I know it was in kindergarten. Our moms hit it off. Something about commenting on a dress one of us was wearing and figuring out they both sewed a lot. They became friends, and so did Chelsea and I.

My mom and I spent a lot of time at their house. It's funny because tons of my childhood memories have that house as a backdrop. I think I can actually recall that house in better detail than I can the apartment we lived in then. There have been times when I long to go back to that house, that time in my life, when life was so simple, so easy.

But, we are talking about the people in the house today...I was so blessed that her mom and dad accepted me as one of their own. Throughout my childhood, they were there for me and I knew it. That's comforting to a kid. Her brother (who was 2 when I met them) became like a brother to me. When Chelsea would be busy, I'd play with David. I didn't mind. I was just over the moon to be part of their family.

I was closest of all to Chelsea. Which makes sense since she was my best friend. And this is supposed to be about my childhood best friend. We did lots of things together. We listened to records on her record player. I remember the Annie soundtrack. And what was that other one? Tina Turner or maybe Whitney Houston? We'd run down the steps in the backyard, past the garden and play on the swing set. I remember sitting on the side porch of her house, playing something or other. Later, we played soccer together on the same team. And even later still, we shared a room on a houseboat when our families vacationed together. And thought of how hard it would be to pee if you were a guy on that rocking boat. :)

We went to school together until the 4th grade when she moved away. We stayed friends but it was different after that because she went to another school. It was hard when she moved away. She was always there for me. Looking back, I was so different than all the other kids. I didn't feel that then, but I was. And she never once made me feel like an outsider. Because of her and her family, I was given the things I was missing.

We drifted apart during our high school and college years. And we didn't talk much as my family grew. But I still have the letter of encouragement she sent me when my marriage collapsed. Life being as it was for me then, we still didn't talk much. I remember hearing about when she got married - and feeling sad that I didn't know who she was marrying. I think that was my wake-up call. We'd been friends for so many years; I knew I wanted to be more involved in her life. I made a few mistakes (like napping through a dinner invitation - if you are reading this, I am still so sorry about that! I cringe every time I think of it!) but still, she forgives me.

Recently, we've become closer again and I'm so glad. It's almost like I've sighed a breath of relief because we are friends again. I'm weird like that though. I felt that way with my husband too. For me, when the past makes amends with the present, I feel calmer about the future.

I think with both of us becoming moms, we are able to connect easier. It's like we have come full circle and now we are the moms (which is totally crazy to me!). Over dinner one night, just this past week, she was there for me. Again. For the ba-zillion-th time. And I realized what a treasure she is. A big piece of my history, my oldest friend, my childhood best friend. Chelsea.

friday's feast #143 (#15)

Appetizer
Tell about a time when you had to be brave.

I had to be brave during and right after my divorce. I didn't want to sink the already rocking boat for my daughter. It's amazing the things we do as parents to ensure that our children's lives are even-keeled. I was so afraid of living by myself, of being by myself, of the failure that my marriage became, of keeping my daughter above the water line. With all that fear, it's hard to be brave. But I think I was.

Soup
Which upcoming movie are you excited about seeing?

I don't watch a lot of upcoming movies. Who are we kidding? I'm lucky to even see a movie. Not for lack of my husband's efforts, of course. I just feel that 2 hours of my time is better spent elsewhere than sitting in a movie theater, trying not to fall asleep in the darkened room. We do watch DVDs occassionally, but I leave the choosing up to my husband. He follows the movies way more than me. That usually means I end up watching a war movie or governmental plot AKA Jack Bauer-type movie, but that's okay.

Salad
Name an item you try to always have on hand.

In the kitchen: cheese
Non-kitchen item: cherry Chapstick (I'm hopelessly addicted)

Main Course
Imagine the most relaxing room you can think of. Now describe it!

I did this in a post once, but I was very brief. I think about this room a lot. I mean A LOT. Someday I hope to be able to spend lots of time in a room like this...It would be located in a cottage that sits on the shore of a lake, preferably a big one. As long as it's blue water, it doesn't matter. The room would have blue walls - not too dark but not really light either, just a warm blue. The accents would be white. The floor would be hardwood (fake, because real hardwood floors are too hard to take care of - and this is all about relaxing). Lots of little rugs scattered throughout the room. There would be a huge window giving a beautiful view of the water. A white table desk would be put in front of it. The desk would be stocked with expensive paper and stationary, a computer, and lots of pens of all kinds. Oh, and pencils too, because lately I like them a lot. There would be a nice, big comfortable couch with pillows and blankets. There would be an awesome, easy to use stereo so that I could play music to match my mood. It would be a quiet place most of the time, though. Maybe a microwave so I could make a cup of tea without leaving the room. Also, maybe some built-in white bookshelves for my books and journals. I could write to my heart's content and then when I got tired, I could curl up on the couch for a nap. The only thing missing from this is my husband, because generally, being around him relaxes me. But he'd probably be in the state of the art workshop with his tools. :)

Dessert
On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being the highest), how spiritual or religious are you?

About an 8 or 9. There is always room to grow closer to God. It seems the older I get, the more spiritual/religious I get. The quest to understand just why I'm on this earth and why things happen as they do propels me forward. Overall though, I do believe that God has His hand on everything and there is a reason for every little thing. My faith is what I continually work on. Trusting that all the things that happen are for good. I know they are but when faced head-on, it's hard sometimes. I wish I was more disciplined in my bible reading and devotions. I'm working on that too. I think it would be helpful if my husband was involved, but really, I guess it starts between me and God.


Wow, those were good ones today! I have been working on this on and off for a long time. I hope my thoughts are coherent. :) Difficult when lots of kids are vying for your attention. I don't know how you moms with lots of little ones do it. At least some of mine go home at the end of the day!

Thanks for feasting with me! If you'd like to feast too, go here.

mother's legacy idea

My mom got me a book for my birthday. It's a Hallmark gift book called, "A Mother's Legacy: Your Life Story in Your Own Words". There are questions about childhood, family traditions, family history, and memories. The basis of the book is the reason I've been journaling for years and also why I began blogging. My family history is so sketchy that I'm intrigued by it. The more I learn, the more I realize that there were reasons it wasn't recorded for reference. Actually, some of it was recorded far more than my own kids' lives or my life. But court records and social service records are so unemotional. So non-relational, for lack of a better term. I hope to give my kids more than that.

So, here's my idea. Once a week, I am going to pick one of the questions from the book and answer it on my blog. I usually just share the day to day stuff when I write. But by doing this, my kids will get memories that I have about my childhood or my thoughts on important topics. They will get family history that I may not otherwise remember to share.

You are welcome to join in. I am going to try to pick topics that won't be too personal. I only ask that you leave a comment if you share so I can check out your answer. I'll be starting next week sometime. See you then! :)

blue water

Roatan Island, Honduras
Photo courtesy of pbase.com

the wind on my face
and the sun shining
remind me of the blue water
it's calling me

growing up
i was never a "beach" girl
sand all over
was not my thing

then one day
we took a trip to chicago
and walked to the end
of the navy pier

it's only a lake there
lake michigan
but it seemed to never end
and i was hooked

blue water

i don't want to get in
i don't want to sunbathe
i just want to sit
and stare at the beauty

in some strange way
the blue water calms me
it straightens the kinks
in my soul

how majestic of our God
to give boundaries
to the boundless water
and make it rise and fall

it's too complicated
to fathom
but then again
so is my soul

i guess that's why
the blue water
soothes my soul
so well

how i long to see
that sweet blue water
the sun on my face
the wind in my hair

God soothing my soul
and speaking to me
with nary a word
between us

blue water

friday's feast #142 (#14)

Appetizer
Name something you would not want to own.

A cat. Even though I think some of them are SO cute, I'm allergic. Whenever I'm around them long, evil things happen to my eyes and I sneeze a lot.

Soup
Describe your hair (texture, color, length, etc.).

It falls just below my chin. Brown with some very subtle, (usually) natural highlights of all colors (reddish, blondish, gray). It's really thick and is just wavy enough to make blow-drying my hair a must.

Salad
Finish this sentence: I’ll never forget ___________.

Wow. I could say lots of things here. All of them revolve around my family and friends. Too close to my heart to choose only one.

Main Course
Which famous person would you like to be for one day? Why?

This one is hard for me. I don't think I would be one person in general. I would just like to be one that is really rich so I could give a lot of money away. Sometimes I wonder why celebrities or famous people don't give away more money. I mean, how much money does one person need?

Dessert
Write one sentence about yourself that includes one thing that is true and another thing that is not.

What?! Okay, here goes. I am 31 and I weigh 150 pounds. You choose. Be careful! It's not polite to ask a lady her age OR her weight! Hahahaha. :)

cake

Homemade Cars movie cake. And a four year old finger recognizing the number four. "It says four because I'm four, right?" In the background, I'd like you to meet my mother-in-law, my father-in-law and my mom. I think I really captured their best side, huh?

4

it's late
the party is over
lots of toys
and playing way past bedtime

happy birthday
my son
i can't believe
you are 4 already

thank you for
the three kisses
at breakfast today
because you used to be three

and thank you for
the four kisses
a moment later
because now you are four

thank you for
teaching me
to take the joy
from each day

thank you for
your unconditional love
and for saying
"i like you, mommy"

today
we celebrated you
and the wonders you teach us

happy birthday

end of three

this is the eve
of my son's 4th birthday
and my mind is full
of the lasts

reminds me of the book
karen kingsbury
wrote called
let me hold you longer

every time i read it
i cry

our world is so focused
on a baby's firsts
but the lasts slip by
without fanfare

how do you know
if it will be the last time
you change their diaper
or fix a bottle

kids change every day
transitions can be quick

i'm continually amazed
that God blessed me
with boys in my life
especially my son

i love my daughter
with all my heart
she has her own niche
there deep inside me

but it is my son
who brings me to my knees

it's a tangled web
woven in my mind
sorting out how to be a mom
to a boy

daily he offers me
the grace
that only God and kids
seem to understand

then i feel the healing
and know it is okay

three is my favorite age
more independent
and suddenly
a sense of humor

i know that four is fun
but each year
brings us closer to
starting school

i treasured my time today
feeling the days slipping by

this was my last three
no more for me
and that saddens me
somehow

tomorrow will be
celebrations and fun
cars movie cake
and presents

but tonight
i savor three's lasts

and give a piece of my heart
to that big boy