December 20, 2005

christmas is coming

this time of year
is so very busy
not to mention the move

where is the tree?

find the ornaments
hide the presents
now where did i put that?

the three ring circus
almost drove me to drink

between poopy diapers and
runny noses
and my human vacuum cleaner
the only word i know is NO!

but i LOVE my new house
even half put together
it makes me so happy

Lord, i pray for the right
family to come along for the
other house...but not yet,
because i still need to finish
getting it empty and clean...just
be preparing their hearts.
thank you for my many blessings.

slow down this merry-go-round
so i can remember the reason for
my blessings and the reason for
the pretty christmas lights and the
ultimate sacrifice that came from
a tiny baby born so long ago

how thankful i am for the grace
and mercy that came for each of us
in the form of that scrunchie, wiggly,
wrinkled little baby boy.

your birthday is coming
birthday cake with candles
cha cha cha

December 14, 2005

endings and beginnings

long week
endings and beginnings
it hurts to see
someone you love

small white church
looked even smaller to me
it had been years
since i saw that
stained glass window
the one i voted for
all those years ago

the person who
invited us to that
small white church
is gone

how very sad it was
to see the grieving
but comfort comes in
knowing that she is free

long truck with the
liberty bell on the side
and arizona plates
took all our stuff
half a mile away

a few bruises and
sore muscles galore

now we are up
to our ears in boxes
one by one they empty
as we create a home
in this house of ours

watching my family
help us with this
chaotic adjustment
made my heart swell
and my eyes tear up

thank you so much

somewhere in the mist
of this chaos
i realized that i had
truly become a
daughter to the ones
who didn't choose me -
their son did

and again the tears came

thank you Lord for blessing
me with so many things
and thank you for opening
my eyes and giving me a
moment to see during this
busy time

help us all to adjust to the
new house
and help me with the circus


December 7, 2005


a week and the fog
finally starts to lift

and then sad news
comes my way

a kind soul has
left this earth today
on to claim her big, big house
with lots and lots of rooms

but most importantly,
to see the Father's face
and hear Him say
well done.

well done.

thank you Lord for all
the guidance she gave
my mom,
for the friend she was to my mom,
for the unconditional love she gave
to me and my kids
and many others, i am sure.
thank you for what she meant
to a lost hyper kid
all those years ago...
for a big yard to cut,
christmas lights to hang,
playing ping pong by myself
or with the wall,
perfecting my pool shot
while i was shadow grounded,
for a graduation party,
for hanging wet laundry on
the line outside,
for column paper with stock
for her nesting dolls that
squeaked when i opened each one,
for meals eaten around
a round, glass table,
for the smell of her perfume
that lingered at her vanity,
and the silver tea set displayed on
the coffee table,
for the green dressed air
freshener doll,
and for holding my children
when they were babies,
for the famous baseball that
i foolishly gave away,
for handsprings and cartwheels
across the back lawn,
for canasta playing,
and the stereo in the basement
that helped pass the time.

thank you Lord for the memories.
rest in peace, my surrogate grandmother.
rest in peace.

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