end of three

this is the eve
of my son's 4th birthday
and my mind is full
of the lasts

reminds me of the book
karen kingsbury
wrote called
let me hold you longer

every time i read it
i cry

our world is so focused
on a baby's firsts
but the lasts slip by
without fanfare

how do you know
if it will be the last time
you change their diaper
or fix a bottle

kids change every day
transitions can be quick

i'm continually amazed
that God blessed me
with boys in my life
especially my son

i love my daughter
with all my heart
she has her own niche
there deep inside me

but it is my son
who brings me to my knees

it's a tangled web
woven in my mind
sorting out how to be a mom
to a boy

daily he offers me
the grace
that only God and kids
seem to understand

then i feel the healing
and know it is okay

three is my favorite age
more independent
and suddenly
a sense of humor

i know that four is fun
but each year
brings us closer to
starting school

i treasured my time today
feeling the days slipping by

this was my last three
no more for me
and that saddens me
somehow

tomorrow will be
celebrations and fun
cars movie cake
and presents

but tonight
i savor three's lasts

and give a piece of my heart
to that big boy