rambling...

Wow. I just reread the last three posts and can you say melodramatic?! I don't know why birthdays and holidays bring out the blues in me. They just do. And with the blues, comes the desire to write. Strange the way my brain and heart work.

The people across the street are getting a new roof. So for the past couple of days, I've been awaken to the sound of tap, tap, tap hammers and the whirl of a circular saw. Wish the extreme makeover was happening over here. But then it wouldn't just be a tap - it would be a full blown BANG BANG BANG! So maybe it's okay that it isn't happening here...

Made my reservation for the Compassion National Conference. I don't know if I've mentioned yet that I am an advocate for Compassion. Basically, it's a volunteer position where you just try to get the word out about Compassion and try to get children sponsored. I'm amazed at this ministry and really would like to get even more involved. I'd love to go on a trip with them because I so firmly believe in what they are doing. I want to see it first hand. Anyway, if you haven't heard of Compassion, check it out! And if you are ready to sponsor a child, click here. Or click on that Compassion picture there in my sidebar.

Okay, okay, off my soapbox now...last night, I had some extra fruit from my fruit salad at lunch so I decided to make a smoothie. My favorite drink at UDF (a local ice cream shop/gas station) is a strawberry freeze. All they put in it is strawberry sherbet and fruit punch or lemonade. I can do that! So I bought some raspberry sherbet (couldn't find strawberry) and some fruit punch. I've been having fun experimenting. Last night's smoothie had about a half-cup of blueberries, half-cup of strawberries, a few raspberries, a cut-up banana, a little fruit punch and a lotta raspberry sherbet (fat free!). I just blended it all together and kept adding the sherbet until it was as thick as I wanted. It was SO good!! We will definitely be doing that again!

Well, I'm going to go start enjoying my Friday. So excited that the weekend is here! Hope everyone has a good one!

13

somehow

all those years ago

sitting in the lawyer's office

it never crossed my mind

that her birthday was in the summer

when he was given summer custody

and while the list of negatives

is longer than my arm

i would have to say

that by far the worst

is trying to make things fair

and make her happy

on her birthday

because i'm the one who birthed her

and i miss spending time with her

on her birthday

go figure

the past few years

have been better

than the ones before

but sharing is rough

and to be honest

i'm not very good at it

this year

we had all weekend

and although her birthday

is tomorrow

i was blessed to have two whole days

to soak up the last of twelve

and stare thirteen in the face

a steak

cake

banners

balloons

confetti (!!)

a new phone

tickets to a water park

and a basket of "girl stuff"

(as the six year old boy said)

not to mention a surprise gift card

and another one slips by

outside the window

darkness

each explosion

lights the silhouettes

i peek out

checking on children

watching grown men

act like little boys

i only count one child

and begin to panic

looking for child

number two

an explosion in the sky

and then a sparkler

illuminates her eyes

and her long legs

and once again

i realize

she is no longer a child

although my heart says she is

happy 4th

last day of kindergarten

It seems only yesterday that we dropped him off for his first day of big boy school. And today is the last day. Next year starts full days, no lunches with Mom, and two trips on the big yellow cheese. He seems ready, but am I?

singing

Had to go to the Post Office by my work today and it was interesting.  I work in a unique part of town; lots of local history, lots of different walks of life.  It has a downtown, urban feel but just up the street, it's suburbia.  Anyway, the Post Office has been there for years and years.  As I waited my turn, I enjoyed the old pictures on the wall of past employees.  And I do mean PAST employees...these had to be from almost 100 years ago.  

I was waiting in line because there was this nice, eccentric, older woman in front of me.  Her clothes were a bit worn and her gray-streaked hair was loosely pulled up in a bun.  She had a blister on her thumb (cleaning? sewing?) and her shoes didn't fit quite right.  She was buying money orders.  The clerk was speaking a little bit loud and I couldn't quite figure out if she normally did that or if the lady was hard of hearing.  I'm thinking it was a little of both.  The lady bought two money orders and then couldn't decide why she had so much money left over.  Then she remembered she needed another money order.  I work at a bank.  We get this type of customer a lot.  Especially in this particular neighborhood.  I always try to have lots of patience with them, because, let's face it, that is going to be me someday and I sure hope someone is patient with me.

So the woman gets her money orders and moves out to the counter in the lobby area.  I get my stamps and the only place to stand to put them on the envelopes is at the same counter in the lobby area.  There's plenty of room but I just take the very edge, steering clear of the money order lady.  I began stamping my envelopes and from two feet away, she starts saying that she should have used the counter inside the Post Office so that I would have more room.  I assured her I was fine.  Then she said it again.  And again.  Each time, I assure her that I'm fine.  In the meantime, I'm putting stamps on as fast as I can to get the heck out of there because I was obviously distressing her a bit.  Then out of nowhere, she begins to sing.  LOUDLY.  And it was pretty.  She sounded like she was on stage giving a performance.  I have no idea what song she was singing, something along the lines of black witchcraft and white witchcraft. ???  But she had a beautiful voice.  It was so shocking to me that she was singing so loudly, and so much, but once I recovered from the shock, I actually enjoyed it.

I was thankful for the reminder today that when your soul feels like singing, you should just let it on out.  Someone might think you are a little loose in the head.  But someone just might get a big ole blessing out of it.  Thank you, Lord, for helping me put my priorities in the right place today and for helping me see the joy in that older woman's soul today.  I needed that.  

new! amy! grant! music!

If you know me at all, you know I am the HUGEST Amy Grant fan.  Well, I'm not huge but you know what I mean.  I have a special bloggy label just for her and everything!  I got an email the other day informing me that not only does Amy Grant have a new web design - because you know that's big news around here - but she also has new! music! available!  Click here to check it out.  Go on...you know I'm going to be talking about it so you'll want to know what all the hype is about! Haha...

Wait...what are you still doing here?  Go!  It's that good!!!

note to self...

...when your son asks for lego sets for his birthday, he'll rope you into building them.  Which sounds fun at first, but after three hours and fifteen minutes - not so much.  Your neck muscles will scream at you the rest of the day, but it will be so worth it to see him flying a starship through the air and escaping the bad guys in an old Russian car.

...toll booth operators are a funny lot.  Some sing to themselves, or rather, to you.  Some don't even say hi.  Some wear gloves (nasty money!) and some are very friendly.  Others not so much.  It was interesting (especially the very LOUD singer...)

...preteens' feet stink.  Especially in a closed in, air-conditioned van.  For hours.  That's all I have to say about that.

...now that the sixth birthday is over, take this time to prepare for the next one...thirteen!  Here we go.......(I'm SO not ready for this!)

top of the world

Top of the ferris wheel on the Navy Pier. Ah, blue water....

six

after months of counting down

the prestigious sixth birthday

is just around the bend

he's so excited

and i'm wondering

just where the time has gone

some days so big

yet still glimpses of the little boy

i rocked to sleep at night

i pray those little windows

of joyful bonding

are always there

even when he towers over me

and oh, he will

(doesn't everyone?)

in the middle of the everyday

i wonder and pray for the end

for a time when the quiet will win out

but on days like today

rainy and introspective

on the cusp of another milestone

i know that one day soon

i will long for the noise

for the spontaneous kisses

for the crashing of trucks

for the sounds of batman fighting robin

for the requests to watch video clips

for the mischievous-ness that is my son today

for the song dedications

for the notes on dry erase boards

for the reading of books

for the intimacy of sharing every day together

there will be a day

when i want nothing more than this

and that day is not far away....

good times

well hey there

long time no talk

i hate that slacker part of me

i always come back

and make promises for more

then fail

agh - frustrating

so no more promises

just me

today is a beautiful day

all of God's creatures

singing in delight

i'm watching 

a game of toss

between my two favorite boys

sitting outside

enjoying the warm sun

feeling the wind blow by

thinking about a handful of people

who are halfway across the world

and wondering how life is for them today

another group of compassion bloggers

are on a trip

this time to india

i know God will move

i know lives will be changed

and i pray lots of kids get sponsored

business trip tomorrow

never get used to it

neither of us do

the flurry of laundry

and last minute purchases

packing

and this time

a day later

we'll hurry and pack

headed out 

for a little family vacation

to celebrate a sixth birthday

busy times

tired times

good times...