June 27, 2006

definition

yesterday
so much still to say

today
nothing
it's gone

my mind is wired
differently than most
read an article today
relating forgetfulness
to alzheimer's
scary stuff

but it isn't forgetfulness, really
it's more of a deleted hard drive

it's like standing
in the middle of a foggy day
feeling around
and straining the eyes
to make out one small object
that is familiar
one thing that would
return the sense of balance
the orientation
what is up and what is down

and finding nothing...

hence
decipher the fog

it's so exhausting

9 rays through the fog:

Brenda said...

I came by way of Barb. Don't you just love her? She's one of my favorite people.

Your blog title is a perfect description, and the template is also fitting. It reminds me of an old gospel song - "If it wasn't for the lighthouse, tell me, where would this ship be?" I'll have to see if I can find the rest of the lyrics if you're not familiar with it.

Be blessed!

Barb said...

Andrea, I've never told you two things although I've been a follower for quite some time now.

First, I tried so hard to make this template work for me when I first started my blog. It's my favorite. So I don't know how you did it but I was sooooo jealous.

Second, your fog. I suspected. But I'm telling you, I love the way you present your posts. They always reach me, inside. Beautiful.

Your fog is not as dense as you think it is. You have a transparency you don't even realize you have. (I know this from our e-mails.) I understand the title of your blog.

And I'm longing for the day you can, with a full sense of abandon, just change it.

It will come....it will come.

Cindy said...

Andrea, this is my first visit, but I also love the unique way you blog...it's like poetry.

And Brenda, I love that old song!

Sandra said...

Hi Andrea, I'm here from Barb :)

Love your blog and I love the title, it's perfect :)

Pamela said...

This is my first visit and your blog is lovely. It reminds me that we are all on this incredible life journey; it is uniquely ours and all we can do is do our best. Sometimes the answers aren't always clear but with Gods help we can find our way through the fog. :)

Jennifer said...

Wonderful writing. I'm here from Barb's but I'm going to have to look around a little more.

Linda said...

I love poetry. I love your beautiful site. It's my first visit, but I'll be back. I'm brand new to this and just learning my way around.

Barbara said...

Came through Barb. I had no idea what you had chosen this name for, but it is great! I don't know how you struggle, but forgetfulness comes as we get older, and your mind does wonder, 'is it alzheimer's?', but I give that thought to God, for He tells us to roll all our cares upon him. He'll take us through the fog of day and into His marvelous light!

Judith said...

Andrea, Am off work a few days, after doing the usual three long ones in a row. Feel absolutely wealthy, having lots of time, and the computer's working well.

I read what you wrote about your dear friend dying, and this last post. I so admire your laying your heart and your hurt out there. It takes courage to bare yourself like that. Know that others understand, and care.

 
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