remembering

when i was growing up
this week of january
was a pretty good one

the after christmas blahs
would have settled in nicely
the plethora of new toys grown old

and along came two birthdays
my godmother's and my best friend's
a day apart from each other

i knew there would be cake
and probably a birthday party or two
to herald their new year

every year i'd count
as the years added up
in my godmother's age

the numbers seemed so far
from that of my best friend's
(and soon my own)

how i grieved
the summer the numbers stopped
for my godmother

but lately
more than i have in a long time
i miss her

i think it's the sewing
yeah, me, sewing
she'd be surprised too

so many days
i sat at her feet
as she sewed and quilted

i wish i would have paid closer attention

quite a few times
in the past couple of months
i wished for her advice
her knowledge and skill
her friendship and love

now don't get me wrong
my mom sews a mean stitch
my mother-in-law too

and they would be willing
to guide me along
as i rip out seam after seam

it's just that
for me
sewing means my godmother

and now that i'm actually doing it
it would be great
to share it with her

she filled the empty spots
in my childhood
the memories are so rich

the hole she left in my life
when she died
just got a little bigger

good thing i know how to sew