April 16, 2007

decisions, decisions...

Is it possible that it's been over two weeks since I posted? I guess so. I kept trying to post but the things that were going on were difficult to process for me, and while I usually can write my way through things, I just couldn't this time. Rereading that makes it sound like somebody died or something! Thank goodness, it wasn't that bad!

Like I've said before, I've been working two days a week at the bank where I've been employed for years. I was full time until a few years ago when we were blessed enough for me to stay home with the kids. I've enjoyed being back a few days a week. It's been like having the best of both worlds. I get to spend time with my son (and the little boy I've watched since he was teeny tiny who feels like my own) and I get to stimulate my brain with big people conversations.

Well, a couple of weeks ago, they approached me at the bank to offer me a full time job. It was really, really tempting. My brain spent the better part of a weekend working overtime. What was best for the kids? What was best for me? What was best for our family? Would the job be too stressful? Would I be overwhelmed? I know that it is such a luxury for me to even be able to consider these questions. I've been in the situation in the past where there was not a chance to question this stuff - I just had to work. Somehow, that made it even more difficult for me.

In the end, I was leaning towards accepting the position but the child care issue couldn't be resolved to my satisfaction until school was out. They couldn't wait that long to fill the position. So, I am taking that as my sign that God has other plans for me, plans that include being with my son for now. It's amazing how many cute things he did on "Decision Weekend" that made me wonder why I was even considering it at all. Little things that I normally take for granted. Little things that won't stay little for much longer.

I don't think I've ever told my husband how much I appreciate his willingness to support our family. I don't know that he understands how much it means to me to be able to see that little face in the morning and know I have all day to soak it in. Or that I am able to be here when my daughter arrives home from school - to hear the non-stop chatter of the first time she got to sit next to her boyfriend and all the other earth-shattering news of fifth grade. Thank you, dear husband, for letting me be the mom God intended me to be. You have blessed me more than you know.

2 rays through the fog:

Cheryl said...

I have so been in the position of making a decision that on paper (or a blog!) makes perfect sense but when we hold that paper up to the light of God and all that is important in His eyes the logic seems to disappear.

We made a commitment a long time ago - when we were still very tight with money that we would never make a decision for our family based on money...even if it made sense. There have been times when we might have been farther ahead but we would have missed out on seeing God's provisions come our way.

Have a wonderful day with your little guy!!

Darlene said...

Very touching.

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