long day

test was so easy

hardest part was drinking yucky stuff
and the needle prick for the dye

although the technician was
young...and a bit ditzy

luckily i was already so nervous
i didn't realize until later

reminded her i had asthma
she said it was only important
if i had an allergic reaction

duh

and then she said
most people aren't allergic to it
they ask the asthma question
in case you are allergic to...uh...
(i know she is trying to think of
the list of things that would be related
to the iodine dye they are using - but then
she goes on...)
...uh...a lot of things...
and then she moved on to do my iv

boy, i am glad i was a bit loopy from nerves
i think my support person
(aka my stoic husband in his cute work clothes)
would have laughed out loud
at her ditzy answers
either that or demanded real answers

so it's over and now we wait

i think i spend half my life waiting
for something to happen,
something to be over,
or something to begin

but on to the next thing of the day....

hung out with the talker
on the last day of our custody
for the summer
attitude city, really
but i gave some of it back to her
and she snapped out of it

dinner at mom's

then we surprised her and took her
and the lion
to see the movie "cars"
great movie
comedy for all ages - funny stuff even for dad
larry the cable guy is mater
and he is hilarious
at the end
as the credits roll
there is a spoof on other pixar movies
great, great stuff
and the soundtrack is awesome too

then it was on to her dad's
and i hated it, as usual
i am used to a lot of things
dealing with this awful situation
but never this
never letting my little one go
even for the blink in time
that summer is
and she has no idea that the summer
is going to be totally different than she thinks
didn't have the heart to tell her
and pray she gets the story straight
when she is told
will see her at camp
sunday after next
but her spirit has changed already
as it always does
this time of year
half a hug and a "go"
are all i got
only eight more agonizing times
to do this...

so i'll go on that awful note
i am so tired
physically and emotionally
and i'm off to work tomorrow
guess i could use some zzz's

good night