December 11, 2007

games

slamming the door
behind her
this morning
i bid her goodbye

i am the bad guy
these days
and it stinks

she treats people
especially me
like dirt
and is just downright
nasty

i knew these days
would come
it's inevitable

but if one more person
tells me to just wait
because it gets worse
i think i will scream at them

nothing like the
enlightenment of future horror
to encourage someone
today

i'm at wit's end
i've tried being nice
i've tried being mean
i've tried grounding
i've tried ignoring it
i've tried laying down the rules
i've tried bargaining

you know
the crazy thing for me
is that she builds this wall
but so deperately wants me
to tear it down

i know her
better than she thinks i do
and i see right through
all these little games

and that's what makes me
so daggone mad
why waste such precious time
on stupid games?

roll the dice
press your luck
two spaces forward
go back to start
pass payday
but pay it all
on your next turn

i never was a big fan of games

3 rays through the fog:

Brenda said...

Just wait. It will get better.

I don't have any advice, but here's the little speech I gave my daughter: "I know what you're thinking. You're thinking (and you don't even know you're thinking it, but I know because not only am I your mom, I was also a teenage girl once) that if you can be bad enough, I'll send you away or kick you out, but it's not going to happen. There is nothing you can do to make me not want to be your mom, and I will always love you no matter what you do." I've had to repeat it a few times, but it did eventually sink in.

Hang in there, mom. She'll grow out of it. I'll be praying in the meantime.

Judith said...

I can tell your heart is so heavy. Wish I could give you good advice, but sometimes all you can do about your children is give the situation your best shot.

It's very possible they won't learn some things until they have lived longer. I will be praying that you find the best words and actions to help your daughter with her growing pains.

Diane J. said...

Hi, Andrea. It's been a while again since we touched bases, hmmm? ;o)

I don't have much I can add to Brenda's and Judith's wise words. If it helps, I had a teenage daughter once. She's now 20 but still relapses occasionally.

All you can do is do the best you can from day to day. One day at a time, doing the best you can. That's it.

When Jessica was 18 years old she was working and making pretty good money for a teenager. We were getting along really great and she was about to graduate in May. In February when Valentine's Day came around, I was looking forward to her getting me a card at least, maybe some flowers and/or candy. She didn't get me a single thing, not even a happy Valentine's Day! Instead, she spent all her money on a sorry boyfriend who didn't appreciate her at all and was only with her for what he could get from her.

I was so crushed! I even blogged about it way back then.

But as encouragement, as Judith says, only life experience will make her truly appreciate her Mom, and that day WILL come, I promise. Time will bring a deeper love and appreciation for you, Andrea. Just hang in there, better days are ahead.

Happy New Year, Andrea! Hope to see more of you this year. ;o)

Love and hugs,

Diane

 
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