September 1, 2006

hold her close, jesus

went to visit my friend
at the hospice place
they are really kind there
but i think if they weren't
it would cause overload
because processing what you see
takes every bit of strength
that you can muster

she's always been a small lady
but she looked so tiny
there in that hospital bed
she said she feels no pain
but the pattern of small grunts
tells me otherwise

a sliver of a white pill
morphine, the nurse says
as she struggled to get it down
swallowing and breathing
are difficult and mandatory
she has oxygen all the time now

she was lucid and alert
telling stories of times past
and hurts healed
but as the morphine
overtook her body
she became lethargic
and repetitive

i held her hand
and tried to ignore
her lack of dentures
and the spots of baldness
i looked deep in her eyes
through the drug-induced cloudiness
and saw that sweet, sweet lady
that has touched my heart

she began to doze
and i knew it was time to go
i hated to leave
because i can't be certain
she'll be here when i come back

hold her close, Jesus
ease her pain
prepare her place
it won't be long

5 rays through the fog:

Judith said...

Andrea, In my work I've been at bedsides like that, but they cannot be compared.
This one is your friend, and precious friends like you, who care enough to be there. I pray for both of you.

Barb said...

I'm so sorry you have to see her like this Andrea. And it's a shame the morphine keeps her in a fog but it's so necessary to ease her death.

When my mother-in-law was dying, slowly and with cancer, and I was caring for her, the people of Hospice were wonderful. You don't really know how kind people can be until you've worked with them. They not only made her dying comfortable, they were equally concerned about my mental wellbeing and were such huge support.

Hospice workers are truly angels walking around on this earth.

What a beautiful prayer to your friend. I'm sure her place in Heaven is being readied for her as we speak.

Anonymous said...

Hi Andrea, I am browsing CWO BlogRoll. Your poem was so touching! I cried. Ive been in your shoes. It was my dad in the bed. I agree with Barb about Hospice workers being Angels! They truly are. I will pray for you and your friend.God Bless~Amy

Blazer1234 said...

It should comfort you that she is surrounded with such love and care. There are angels around her...physically and spiritually. Take comfort in that, and always remember the good she brought out in you. Especially on the hard days.
Love you lady. Hope you had a safe and pleasant trip this weekend!

Susie said...

That was so beautiful to read. I love the last four lines. I felt like I was there with the description you gave. Thanks for sharing.

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