blog block

i've stared
at this blank post screen
a lot of times
in the past 24 hours

i want to post
i need to post
but i have blog block

i am struggling
emotionally
physically
mentally

i want to be positive
when i post
to encourage
as so many in the bloggy world
do

but i'm telling you
it's not so easy
right now

i know the answer
i knew it when i woke up today
and then i read this
which confirmed it all the more

i'm running on empty
i haven't read the word
(except for the chosen passage
in the sidebar of barb's blog
and i count that because
it has been such a blessing)

so heeellloooo, mcfly?
(back to the future, anyone?)
if that's a blessing
and i'm on empty
what am i doing blogging?

i know there are people
out there who understand
and who will pray
i covet your prayers

tonight
the memorial service
and i feel far away
from the one
who brought us together
as friends
i know she'd understand
and have some magical
encouraging thing to say

but she's gone

sweet Jesus,
open my heart tonight
renew that thirst in me
the one that cannot be quenched
give me strength
give me discipline
and even if i don't understand
give me the peace that passes
all understanding
remind me that you have not left my side
i am the one who walked away
if only for a moment
i need you
i'm sorry that i am coming
only in my time of need
oh, Father
thank you for your grace and mercy

amen.