update and a dream

spent a nice mother's day
with all the mothers
in my life

busy weekend

got a toolbox
with my tools
so now there will be
no searching
the great abyss

also got a great cd
and one of my angels

singing card that my singer
adores

beautiful cards from the other
two mothers

ran into a great friend of mine
from eighth grade
had my back to her and
heard her voice
wouldn't have recognized her
her voice hasn't changed a bit
but it seemed everything else had

she was in a hurry
and kind of blew me off
life goes on
strange

three ring circus today
after days and days
of non stop rain
struggling
makes me tired

the sun made
a guest appearance today
bright light, bright light
gives me hope
the fog pushes down
i insist on pushing back

the secret is pushing back
but sometimes there is
no energy left
to whisper

looking forward to
being outdoors
although i will admit
i am jealous that
i won't need to speak
a foreign language
camp with chatty girls
and dirty boys
hmm...what was i thinking?

can't wait for the view
of blue water
from the islands up north
it took me months and months
to get over the feeling
that i was home
when i was there
sometimes on really bad days
i still long to be there
in a little cottage on the shore
blues and whites inside
with a huge window
to see that blue water
my own private oasis
with a white table desk
that plays host to
lots of paper
expensive pens
and a computer
ahhh....

someday

reasons to celebrate

so much time goes by
the same old stuff
yet all new somehow
but these are events
i cannot let pass by
without comment

the lion is three
and the tiger five
both birthdays
one day apart

it's as if the birthday
suddenly allowed
fully understandable
sentences to flow out
one after another
coherently
now if only the birthday
could bring about
big boy underwear
that aren't wet or worse
my next step is
diapers on strike!

And then my big little bro
surprised us all
but mostly her
with the big question
by the way
squeaks and giggles
mean yes...
the ring is so pretty
but her glow is even prettier : )

and i guess i'll admit
as a people fan
that i was happy to hear
rosie is coming back
to daytime television
on the view
her thoughts and lifestyle
may be controversial but
they inspire me to contemplate
and i love the insight
she gives to the "rich and famous"

so this week i prepare
for a cooking show
lots of people coming
funny that i am cooking for them
who would have guessed?

still no nibbles on the other house
once the police pulled us over
and the lion being young
was intrigued by the car
"po-wece mommy"
yes, police
after a minute or two
"we wait?"
yes, we wait
so, no sold sign yet
still, we wait

the beauty of rain

try a new color today...

i forgot how much
it rains in the spring
but i love the view
from our new house

we have a small
stand of woods
in back

during the winter
it looks bare
and we see all the
cars race by
(at 35-40 mph
it is hardly racing
but it seems that way
especially the fire trucks
with sirens blaring
which happens often
as the fire house
is closer than we would
like it to be)

but in the past week
the rain, rain, rain
has turned everything
to that beautiful green color
and i hardly can see
the street or cars
our own private oasis

it's wonderful to see
the red birds and chickadees
and a blue bird
and even a woodpecker
i had always heard them
but never really seen one
(unless you count
the cartoon one -
uh-uh-ah-ha, uh-uh-ah-ha,
ha-ha-ha-ha)
beautiful
striking red head
and a gray body

and even more beautiful
is the pinkish-purple bloom
on a small tree on the edge
of the woods
set against all that green

it's days like today
that i wish i had been blessed
with the gift of painting
i've tried
i don't have it
: )

and just when i was sad
to have left the peonies behind
(not the work that is required
mind you, just the blooms)
i see a small patch of
maybe 10 wiry stems
growing just outside
the window...
in the neighbors' yard

god is so good
the blooms
without the work
what a blessing!

prayers for safe travels
for half my family
and for the busy bee
realty market
please, please
have a sold sign for us soon

spring break

i always dread
spring break
i mean i like spring
and i really like
the break part
but the idea of more kids
bouncing around in the house
makes me wonder
if it really is a break

but it hasn't been so bad
i think the monkey
swinging in another
tree for a while
although unintentional
was a good idea

yesterday
with the sun shining
we rented a row boat
and took off across the lake

we had a small dead fish
along for the ride
that totally grossed out
the talker
finally she released it
with a ride on a stick
to its final resting place
in the water

and the talker actually
did okay
rowing our little boat

the lion thought it was fun
and looked cute in his litte
life jacket
"case i fall in de water"
"dis is fun, mommy"

three blisters
and a sunburned face later
we made it back to shore
what a good workout
the wind and the water
ahh...spring break

behavior

turned in some surveys
to the doctor
behavior
translated into checkmarks

inconclusive results

how is behavior
inconclusive?

suggested a venue
that i am not
comfortable
persuing

too confusing
and it adds
mystery to the
already mysterious
behavior

is it immaturity
or a problem in
her mind?

how can we know?

and then there is
the girl who
pesters until
we are all crazy

i requested a meeting
with her mom and
the teachers
to get to the bottom
of it
because i am tired of
hearing about it and
dealing with it

and i think the problem
is now in my mind

i am
slowly
almost imperceptively
losing it...

where art thou, o blanket?

paint on my hands
finally
from the basement
hope it makes it better
hope it sells soon
way too long already

tuned out the circus
today
or maybe the tiger
wasn't in the mood
to stir up all the other
animals today

got to my car
after a walmart run
to realize that the
monkey's blanket was missing
"the" blanket
the one that must be had
for a nap
or a fussy day

retraced our steps
all of them
and no luck
found the blanket
at the customer service desk
sitting on the corner of the
counter
looking lost

and dirty

but we found it

it's the little adventures
that make life interesting

i'm just thankful we found it
and there was nap time today

mr. invincible

the circus
two days in a row
i am counting the minutes

the tiger got ambitious
and tried to hide
from the lion
and cut his wrist

the blood started
to run down his arm
a bit
and his face got really pale
he almost heaved his snack
but he didn't

mr. invincible
is just a kid
after all
one that doesn't like
the sight of blood

so much for being
a power ranger
when he grows up
or a paramedic

so now that the drama
is over
things are pretty quiet

or is it the calm before
the storm?

30

had a wonderful time
at a party on saturday
great to see all the faces
from the different stages
of my life
all together
over pasta
yum...

and my roomie was in town
with her beautiful family
stayed here
and i loved every second
i sure wish we lived closer

buckhead mountain grill
saturday night
no kids
32 ounces
nine dollars
expensive orange slice
that's for sure
good food, good company
including the buffalo

ms. chatty and ms. chatty jr.
got along like
peas and carrots
I hear ms. chatty jr.
keeps asking why
she can't come back
and stay longer

ms. chatty bawled
the night they left
i was doing fine
until i heard him tell her
that i was sad too
and then i had to turn my head
before she saw my tears too

then little man climbed up
on the bed with us,
making four,
and after a loud crack
we all ended up on the floor
that ended the tears for now...

spent time with the family
on my birthday
more good food
white on white with pink sprinkles
yum, yum...

monday was a holiday
my birthday
no work for him,
only some work for me
wonderful to just take it easy
together
probably drove him crazy
being home so much
but i'm glad he was here

took my car to the 'pair shop
as the lion calls it
first time i was out of the house
since sunday
weird how the days blend together
crossing my fingers it won't be
a bank breaker when they call

the circus was in session today
and will be again tomorrow
to make up for the holiday
praying tomorrow goes better than today
almost lost a tiger
instead lost my temper
and counted to 300
in increments of ten
long day

so 30 is pretty much the same
as 29

only older... : )

"getting older" observations

i can't believe all this time
goes by between posts

feels like a day or two and
it's been more than a week

the airplane landed safely
and the kids think they
saw the plane right before
it landed
the exact one
and maybe they did

i'll embark on a new decade
on sunday
funny how in my mind
i am the same person
as i was
when i was a kid

i always thought you changed
in some irretrievable way
when you got older
but really
you just settle in real good
with what you already got
weird, this life thing

my other "getting older" observation
is this
the past ten years had more downs than ups
so i am fully prepared to
embark on a decade of coasting along

and now that i've said that
i'm sure God will surprise me
all i ask is that He be gentle!

pray for safe travels for my
college roommate and her family
they are coming for the weekend

i should be cleaning....

i'm so productive when I
am avoiding cleaning : )

by the way, big little brother,
they did all the hard work for me...
i just didn't do my homework
thanks for the help
can you tell me where it's from?

thank you that's it's friday
my husband here with me
for a few days
and not toiling away
in a world that is foreign to me

hope he likes the new gray hair
i found on accident this morning
all of a sudden they are everywhere
i mean, really, go away!
i get the point!

pray

i've never met her
and i really know little about her
except that she captured
superman's heart

and when superman
proved he was not
quite invincible
she stood by her man

this stranger's death makes me sad

i feel a tug at my heart
for the boy-who is-not-quite-yet-a-man
she leaves behind
he's lost both parents
in less than two years

my friend and i
dissected his situation
like he was one of our own
thinking of who to guide this child
in a crazy world like ours

and if you add hollywood
how much crazier does it get?

what a tender age to deal
with the harshest of human emotions
grief

in the end
all i can really do is pray

also i pray for the one
who hates to fly

cradle the plane in your hands,
o Lord,
as you lift it from one city
and lower it in another

and help him remember
that he is closest to seeing You
while You are holding the plane
in the palm of Your hands
he might catch a glimpse
of Your peaceful face

But make this a comfort
placing our faith in You
to give us mercy of a safe trip

by the way, it's going to be a long three days