spring break

i always dread
spring break
i mean i like spring
and i really like
the break part
but the idea of more kids
bouncing around in the house
makes me wonder
if it really is a break

but it hasn't been so bad
i think the monkey
swinging in another
tree for a while
although unintentional
was a good idea

yesterday
with the sun shining
we rented a row boat
and took off across the lake

we had a small dead fish
along for the ride
that totally grossed out
the talker
finally she released it
with a ride on a stick
to its final resting place
in the water

and the talker actually
did okay
rowing our little boat

the lion thought it was fun
and looked cute in his litte
life jacket
"case i fall in de water"
"dis is fun, mommy"

three blisters
and a sunburned face later
we made it back to shore
what a good workout
the wind and the water
ahh...spring break

behavior

turned in some surveys
to the doctor
behavior
translated into checkmarks

inconclusive results

how is behavior
inconclusive?

suggested a venue
that i am not
comfortable
persuing

too confusing
and it adds
mystery to the
already mysterious
behavior

is it immaturity
or a problem in
her mind?

how can we know?

and then there is
the girl who
pesters until
we are all crazy

i requested a meeting
with her mom and
the teachers
to get to the bottom
of it
because i am tired of
hearing about it and
dealing with it

and i think the problem
is now in my mind

i am
slowly
almost imperceptively
losing it...

where art thou, o blanket?

paint on my hands
finally
from the basement
hope it makes it better
hope it sells soon
way too long already

tuned out the circus
today
or maybe the tiger
wasn't in the mood
to stir up all the other
animals today

got to my car
after a walmart run
to realize that the
monkey's blanket was missing
"the" blanket
the one that must be had
for a nap
or a fussy day

retraced our steps
all of them
and no luck
found the blanket
at the customer service desk
sitting on the corner of the
counter
looking lost

and dirty

but we found it

it's the little adventures
that make life interesting

i'm just thankful we found it
and there was nap time today

mr. invincible

the circus
two days in a row
i am counting the minutes

the tiger got ambitious
and tried to hide
from the lion
and cut his wrist

the blood started
to run down his arm
a bit
and his face got really pale
he almost heaved his snack
but he didn't

mr. invincible
is just a kid
after all
one that doesn't like
the sight of blood

so much for being
a power ranger
when he grows up
or a paramedic

so now that the drama
is over
things are pretty quiet

or is it the calm before
the storm?

30

had a wonderful time
at a party on saturday
great to see all the faces
from the different stages
of my life
all together
over pasta
yum...

and my roomie was in town
with her beautiful family
stayed here
and i loved every second
i sure wish we lived closer

buckhead mountain grill
saturday night
no kids
32 ounces
nine dollars
expensive orange slice
that's for sure
good food, good company
including the buffalo

ms. chatty and ms. chatty jr.
got along like
peas and carrots
I hear ms. chatty jr.
keeps asking why
she can't come back
and stay longer

ms. chatty bawled
the night they left
i was doing fine
until i heard him tell her
that i was sad too
and then i had to turn my head
before she saw my tears too

then little man climbed up
on the bed with us,
making four,
and after a loud crack
we all ended up on the floor
that ended the tears for now...

spent time with the family
on my birthday
more good food
white on white with pink sprinkles
yum, yum...

monday was a holiday
my birthday
no work for him,
only some work for me
wonderful to just take it easy
together
probably drove him crazy
being home so much
but i'm glad he was here

took my car to the 'pair shop
as the lion calls it
first time i was out of the house
since sunday
weird how the days blend together
crossing my fingers it won't be
a bank breaker when they call

the circus was in session today
and will be again tomorrow
to make up for the holiday
praying tomorrow goes better than today
almost lost a tiger
instead lost my temper
and counted to 300
in increments of ten
long day

so 30 is pretty much the same
as 29

only older... : )

"getting older" observations

i can't believe all this time
goes by between posts

feels like a day or two and
it's been more than a week

the airplane landed safely
and the kids think they
saw the plane right before
it landed
the exact one
and maybe they did

i'll embark on a new decade
on sunday
funny how in my mind
i am the same person
as i was
when i was a kid

i always thought you changed
in some irretrievable way
when you got older
but really
you just settle in real good
with what you already got
weird, this life thing

my other "getting older" observation
is this
the past ten years had more downs than ups
so i am fully prepared to
embark on a decade of coasting along

and now that i've said that
i'm sure God will surprise me
all i ask is that He be gentle!

pray for safe travels for my
college roommate and her family
they are coming for the weekend

i should be cleaning....

i'm so productive when I
am avoiding cleaning : )

by the way, big little brother,
they did all the hard work for me...
i just didn't do my homework
thanks for the help
can you tell me where it's from?

thank you that's it's friday
my husband here with me
for a few days
and not toiling away
in a world that is foreign to me

hope he likes the new gray hair
i found on accident this morning
all of a sudden they are everywhere
i mean, really, go away!
i get the point!

pray

i've never met her
and i really know little about her
except that she captured
superman's heart

and when superman
proved he was not
quite invincible
she stood by her man

this stranger's death makes me sad

i feel a tug at my heart
for the boy-who is-not-quite-yet-a-man
she leaves behind
he's lost both parents
in less than two years

my friend and i
dissected his situation
like he was one of our own
thinking of who to guide this child
in a crazy world like ours

and if you add hollywood
how much crazier does it get?

what a tender age to deal
with the harshest of human emotions
grief

in the end
all i can really do is pray

also i pray for the one
who hates to fly

cradle the plane in your hands,
o Lord,
as you lift it from one city
and lower it in another

and help him remember
that he is closest to seeing You
while You are holding the plane
in the palm of Your hands
he might catch a glimpse
of Your peaceful face

But make this a comfort
placing our faith in You
to give us mercy of a safe trip

by the way, it's going to be a long three days

glimpses of character

getting ready for a meeting
last night
blowing dry my hair
and my little boy says
something to me

a bit annoyed to stop
while in a hurry to get ready
i turn off the blow dryer and
ask him to repeat what he said

mommy, you look good

awww...melt my heart

tonight at church
received ashes on our foreheads
all but the little guy
and boy, was he confused

he spent a lot of the service
analyzing everyone's forehead
later at home he asks
mommy, you head okay?

yeah, it's okay i tell him

and think to myself
...most of the time...

fog

twice in one day
overload

i don't like it when i am
on the edge of the fog
one foot in
one foot out
moments of clarity
but mostly
swimming through a mist
unsure if the ground is level

but still going forward
is better than studying
the fog behind

sometimes i wonder why
i examine the words said to me
with such scrutiny
yet other words fall on deaf ears
is it me
or this fog
or the dysfunction of the day?

of course it couldn't possibly be
the person saying the words
not in my whole life
has it been allowed to be that

frustrating...

dig deep, dig deep
the answers are in there

surprise!

why don't i post more often?
with this circus that runs around
and around me
coming or going
not quite sure

is the circus around and around
me
or is it all in my head?

spent the weekend
making our home
clean and orderly
somehow it clears the fog
that has become a constant

at the school conference
a few weeks ago
my own behaviors
transposed to an unknowing
little woman-child
hard not to feel attacked
and don't you think
it's almost cruel to try to fix
something in someone else
that has been so
deeply rooted in yourself
and what is that something?
i plead ignorance
and pretend the behaviors
don't exist in me

took an elevator
up high in the sky
and then climbed
lots of metal steps-
the kind that thump
with every step-
to look out on the world
my camera clicker
took almost all 24 pictures
of the disposable camera
and the sports fan marveled
at the baseball AND football
all at once
i wondered at how the cars looked
just like the ones at home
on the family rooom rug
lined up in a row
the wind blew hard and
it was "too bright" as the
nice old man took our picture
there - up above the world
how orderly it seems from afar

more and more for sale signs
less and less sold signs
we still wait

who would have guessed
a hometown boy could capture
a nation with his dancing
you should see the 2 year old
version
run, kick, run back, hop
run halfway and pose
hilarious

oh and my big little brother
got another whole year older
recently
strange to remember his little
boy face and round glasses
funny the way life twists and turns
funny the things you remember

singing in front of these people
easily three times my age
felt a little sad
that this is entertainment
the cd skipped
i kept singing
and still they were so grateful
wonderful to see both old
and young
light up with interest at the
sight of each other

spent a few days
at my old post
strange how daily routines
change and are forgotten
and how people change
or don't change
it's the small things that add up
and become monumental

read book nine - the final one
in my second favorite series
could it really be over?
you know a book is good
when you start thinking
of the characters as people
you have known
sometime in your life
she's that good
jan karon
check it out

the tiger is waddling like a penguin
the lion is waddling like a penguin
(to imitate the tiger, of course)
but the lion is adding his own twist
and wagging his tongue like a dog
what a wonderful life it is
oh and the monkey is awful sleepy today
must be monday

some things never change...